AK – After a long day the range, you relax by watching Red Dawn.
AR – After a long day at the range, you relax by watching Black Hawk Down.
Mosin – After a long day at the range, you relax by visiting the chiropractor.
AK – After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka.
AR – After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hot dogs and apple pie.
Mosin – After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.
AK – You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR – Your rifle’s accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
Mosin -Your rifle’s accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it’s buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
AK – Your rifle’s finish is varnish and paint.
AR – Your rifle’s finish is Teflon and high-tech polymers.
Mosin – Your rifle’s finish is low-grade shellac, cosmoline, and Olga’s toe nails.
AK – It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR – You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin – It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
AK – You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR – You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
Mosin – You can hit the farm from two counties over.
AK – Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR – Cheap mags melt.
Mosin – What’s a mag?
AK – Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR – You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
Mosin – What’s a safety?
AK – Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR – Your rifle has a 9-point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin – Your rifle has dog collars.
AK – Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR – Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin – Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
AK – You can put a .30″ hole through 12″ of oak.
AR – You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
Mosin – You can knock down everyone else’s target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
AK – When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR – When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
Mosin – When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
AK – Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR – What’s recoil?
Mosin – Recoil is often used to fix shoulders dislocated by the previous shot.
AK – Your sight adjustment goes to 10, and you’ve never bothered moving it.
AR – Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
Mosin – Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles, and you’ve actually tried it.
AK – Your rifle can be used by any two-bit nation’s most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR – Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations’ most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin – Your rifle has fought against itself – and won every time.
AK – Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR – Your rifle drove Saddam out of Kuwait.
Mosin – Your rifle won a pole vault event.
AK – You paid $350.
AR – You paid $900.
Mosin – You paid $59.95.
AK – You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR – You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin – You dig your ammo out of a farmer’s field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
AK – You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR – Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin – You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.
AK – Service life, 50 years.
AR – Service life, 40 years.
Mosin – Service life, 100 years, and counting.
AK – It’s easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR -You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
Mosin – You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.
AK – You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR – You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it’s under warranty!
Mosin – If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.
AK – You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
AR – You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
Mosin – You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2×4.
Have Fun! – Run the Gun! – and remember – Fish Heads are Cheap!!